In sequential to the story of Evelyn shared on the X social media on Saturday, impregnated by a former lecture at Auchi polytechnic, advised her to abort (which she refused), because he wasn’t ready for fatherhood, travelled abroad for greener pasture. The said lady gave birth to twins and the babies’ daddy has refused to acknowledge them, even when she asked for financial assistance in taking care of the babies.
Another man identified as Lábándélé Òníòroró on the same social media app, disclosed that he can relate to the story of Evelyn, stating that the children of such circumstances are the one left bearing all the emotional pains, especially in cases where the biological father does not want to have anything to do with the children.
The man with the handle @Labandele submitted that it would have been better on all accounts if the mothers involved in such cases had aborted the babies even though he is against abortion, that it would have been better all round, especially for those whose fathers that are not willing to show care or love to their children.
Labandele who had done DNA test, emphasized that his father does not want to stay in his life simply because he hate his mom and by extension, that hatred has been transferred to him. When asked the reaction of his father when the result clearly shows he belong to him, he replied: “When he sent me the result. He said “Congratulations result is out” and sent the result Screenshot . His brother said I should give him a soft landing message, something to make it easier for him to repair things. I did and HE IGNORED. Going back the the messages just now, June 21
While relating to the story of Evelyn, in his words: “I was born like this. It hits home, so close that it disgusts me. The man & woman are both villains (the way my parents are) for messing the unformed future of those kids. I would tell you why, with my own story. Difference in the stories is, I experienced foundational privilege I hate to tell this story cus it disgusts me, but here it is.
“My mum studied in Germany and that’s where she met the man. They had something and it made me. He asked that she abort the pregnancy but she asked for a huge sum in order to abort it in the UK, but he didn’t have such, so she tried other means to abort but it wasn’t successful. After then, I came to being.
“We lived together for some time, till her father learnt that his 1st daughter whom he sent to study abroad had dropped out of school. He was livid. He called for both of us and we have been in Nigeria since then. Fast forward to 2005, my maternal grandfather who had been taking care of me just died.
“My mother was incapacitated to fend for me on her own, so for the 1st time, she took me to meet the man’s family. His father welcomed me gleefully, asked if I could add their surname to my name or make my name a compound name. He was kind and receptive of me. Unfortunately, he died shortly after and that created the opportunity of meeting my biological father for the 1st time. That was 2008. After the burial, he left & we had no talks.
“It was then I started to feel neglected, I guess my hopes were shattered, because looking back, I believe I wanted to reconnect with him. So I asked his family for his contact, no one said they had it, but they all did. They were being careful, never wanted to be involved. So I stole his contact from one of his relative’s phones & started to call him.
“He was now in the UK. It was so expensive that I paid through my nose to make a “cold call”, because he was always cold on phone acted busy and always angry. So he asked me not to call again. Then I switched to Facebook. Soon, he asked that I stopped that too, so he gave me his email address to start mailing him. It was about 3 years ago when I was trying to clear my filled inbox that I discovered our messages. I read them and my heart sank cus during the time of the exchanges, I was in my teens, naive & didn’t have much understanding.
“His replies to my messages appeared to mean that I was bugging him and pushing myself at him. I erased all the messages on that day. I only just wanted to know him, converse with him and experience fatherhood.
“Where was my mother in all of this? My mother has been mentally ill for decades. She hasn’t been there to fight for me the way this woman is fighting for herself & her children. In one of those years, my mother, in that state was taken advantage of by someone we can’t tell, so I also have a younger sister I have been fathering.
“Another difference between our stories is that this said man has a brother I would ever be grateful to. He stood by me when their whole family was silent & playing safe. This uncle stood against his family to support me through School. He & his brother are not in talking terms because he learnt that his brother was supporting me.
“My uncle has been a blessing to me, one that would make me an eternal ingrate if I fail to mention. My uncle would say he could tell when they were having the intercourse that made me. He would say, he is your father, you look so much like him, he can’t say it to my face that he truly believes you are not his’ & wants a DNA, because your mother was faithful to him in Germany.
“Another twist of my story is, for the past twenty years, this man has been saying he wanted to do the DNA whenever he was asked about me. What I would like the reader to know is that he truly knew I was his son, but that was his avenue to evade responsibility. You can’t force anyone to be responsible for a child that isn’t theirs.
“So that’s how it played voice records of this. He wanted to evade again. I told him I would drop the money. Eventually we did it, and he sent the results this July. I am 99.9% his. When the issue of DNA Trends, I smile. I know women can be mischievous, but men too can call for it to waste time.
“President Yakubu Gowon did the same thing this man did. It was many years after that they verified the paternity. The son was in his 40s to 50s already. I asked for the DNA because I wanted the smokescreen to be clear from those who doubted and to show that it wasn’t about verifying paternity but it was about hatred.
“It is hatred that would make you neglect a child throughout all his lifetime. The hatred wasn’t constructed for the child, but by extension – of where the child came from, he/she would benefit from it. By the extension of the hatred of my mother, I benefited the neglect. By the hatred of my mother, her long existing condition wasn’t enough to make him bath an eye as well.
“Even if this mother of twins had died, it would just have been a random Tuesday, because hatred is at play. Ladies are the ones I would implore, vet well, and don’t interact with men who have little conscience. You would move on, but the children would fight the wars throughout their lives. I don’t want to sound Pro-abortion, but it would save your innocent kids the trouble of becoming traumatized, for the rest of their lives.
“I never knew my story could go this far. It is unfortunate that one may no longer emotionally relate to one’s story after so many years. When it got people emotional was when I started to feel it again. I mean, I really felt it deeply today and I realized that I shared just 10%.
I have tried institutionalizing my mum couple of times, but faith makes her relapse. “Jesus has healed me”, no to meds, then thousands, emotional, psychological & Nigerian-hospital stress all goes into the drain. She roams and becomes a nuisance.
“I am very proud of her and I appreciate her. Her condition is beyond her. It can happen to anyone. The twist of the story now is, she has lost her sight. This is the only reason she is at home. If not, perhaps I won’t be seeing her tonight. So she is 100% dependent.
“Oh mehn, I hate to write all these but I have started it already. You need to see the everyday emotional torture. I tell you that no one suffers as the families of the person with a mental health issue. This is not robbing them (say my mum) off their struggle, but the burden, sadness and hurt is the family’s.
“I have been attacked for claiming my mother was a villain too. I don’t think anyone reading loves & appreciates her as I do. My point is, she should have executed the abortion by all means, since she knew the man utterly wanted nothing to do with her.
“There’s the awakening of existential reasoning in persons who go through such tragedy. I bet you, I questioned a lot as a kid. That’s why I felt I was going to be useless if I didn’t study philosophy. I didn’t want to SOUND Pro Abortion, but I am Pro Abortion. She’s the guardian of womb.
“All women are also villain because continuing in a situation of unrequited love is some selfishness. Romantic love should be mutual, if it even exists. I have experienced unrequited love & I blame myself my delusional persistence hoping for a change. I really appreciate all the love I have been getting.”
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